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There are pages that should remain empty , not because of the words that don't seem to find their place in the row but because of a virtue.You will remember something , a touch, a smell but you won't remember her..They will feel like a shadow from the past but you won't remember what they meant.
Another her will fill the blanks but without realizing you will flutter forever in a vivid emptiness.The crystal from her eyes will vanish because you failed to remember her.Sometimes love is the only thing we have in common and over the years we find out that that's not enough.


When it comes to me, nothing's ever enough....

Have you ever?

Have you ever..
felt the urge to cry your heart out but not realizing the real reason..
felt lost in a sea of stars and not being able to jump because it was too  high.
You can't fly with the wind because you're too scared to fall.
You feel like a slave behind the door of your own soul.
Screaming  in a deaf echo..
A pathetic sorrow for memories that are coverd with silver drops of tears..
 You can't travel back because you know you won't find anything new there.
There are only spiders and dust and a one way road.

Again..

Painting the sky with her velvet wings..
Obscuring the blue that is different today..
Her eyes were different today..
Her dreams were different today..
Blaming the ghosts that visit her every night...
She wished they were like him..
The clouds were too  heavy for her to carry..
The angels were not there yet.
She felt confused and lonely
She was just human...
Empty ..
Watching the stars that greeted her pain..
She saw him..
Again..for the last time
Or maybe for the first time for real..

A mixture

A mixture ..regret , happiness ,loneliness ,betrayal , fire , a cigarette ,infinity.
How can we change something when there is nothing left to change?
There comes a moment when words fail to appear..when there is nothing you can say because
 the smoke is big enough to burn every feeling you once had.
Freedom-
there 's nothing but blood and maybe  ashes.
You feel it burning in your veins but last year's memories keep you hoping for infity.
.Naivity is just a matter of age .But is it?
Don't confess in vain  something that no one should know.
Don't let them bring their dust to poisson your soul.
ego ,loneliness ..they complete each other..
The silence is too loud.
Shake , lift  your eyes and see the darkeness that seems to drown you.
A blank world.
Misunderstood words that fake the light.
The smell of flesh and blood is everywhere you look .
TEARS AND BLACK MUST MEAN SOMETHING.
Don't look away.

Cure

Gazing at the light that was coming from the chimney made her remember nights.Nights that made her spine tremble.Her tarnished , golden heart was locked.She missed him.It's been months but felt like years.Songs, memories, small details that perhaps didn't count at first , that now are unforgetable.Everything about him felt unusually good.She is soo naive,he deserves nothing from her but still, she whispers his name everytime she fells down.

Good memories never fade away.His  voice lost its echo  but she is still flying over the mountains .Just in case she gets a sign.

Awake

She was feeling as if she was drowning..As if everything was sinking too fast ...The water is cold and deep.
She couldn't keep her eyes open  because the darkness was coming closer and closer.
The truth was that she was losing herself behind the mask that she was wearing everyday.It was glued to her wonded true self.and she couldn't get it off.But it was fine.It was better this way.He thought she was the worst person alive  but in fact she was just trying to protect him.She knew what she was capable of so she drove him away , for his own safety.She was bad for him.He was sweet and inocent.She was the devil and the angel all in one.He deserved better.
But as she was putting down her story she felt bitterness ,she felt that she was the victim.She was sad .Every story ends the same.She wants to own  the ocean and the earth all in the same time.

Seasons.

After a few seconds ,"You know nothing  " he whispered to her as she was getting ready to leave.She stopped and turned around waiting for him to continue."You just dissapear like a ghoast , I have been waiting for you  since forever" but she interrupted him "You mean nothing to me" and closed the door without nothing more, leaving him behind even more confused than before..
He was fascinated by her misterious eyes .She was different.But he knew nothing about her..It was like she was a phantom that kept him alive.She used to come in his dark days when everything collapsed.She used to make things better and leave as soon as she finished her mission.He used to think of her as  his guardian angel..but now things are different..He realised she was not an angel, she just enjoyed seeing him suffer.She had no soul .She felt nothing.Autumn was on her mind.

Because

There are moments..
Moments that used to be..
Moments that mattered then..
Now ...things are different..
As if there is another person writing these words..
As if the other person never existed..
Because there are moments when you feel only loneliness..
You keep the wrong people there because you can't find better versions..
Because honestly no one cares enough..
Because friendships..stories..late nights..don't last forever..
Because you are afraid to fail in a moment when everyone is waiting in aplausse your fall..
Because there is no more honesty..
Because there are no more tears to cry..
Because you feel tired of being weak..
Because there are moments..
Tempered by guilt
Confusion..
Because you feel like going back to the moments when you had everything...Because now ..you have nothing
There are just moments
When nothing is good enough...